How to help yourself cope with the grieving process.

flower, petals, grief

flower, petals, grief

Types of grieving

Greiving is something we all have to go through at some point during our life. Especially in our current climate with corona virus, more people are passing away more than ever- not just from the virus, but also through commiting suicide by people who are struggling with their mental health during these trying times. In this blog post we discuss the different types of grieving, how to talk about it and what you can do to make the process easier for yourself.

“Death is not the opposite of life, but a part of it.” – Haruki Murakami

When people think of grieving, they often think of the loss of a person, however you can also gain the same feeling from:

  • Death of a loved one, including pets.
  • Divorce or changes in a relationship, including friendships.
  • Changes in your health or the health of a loved one.
  • Losing a job or changes in financial security.
  • Changes in your way of life, such as during retirement or when moving to a new place.

So if you feel out of sorts then maybe you’re also grieving but for a purpose you didn’t know about. So what is there to look out for to know that you are in the process of grieving?

Symptoms of grieving

  • Feelings: Anger, anxiety, blame, confusion, denial, depression, fear, guilt, irritability, loneliness, numbness, relief, sadness, shock, or yearning.
  • Thoughts: Confusion, difficulty concentrating, disbelief, hallucinations, or preoccupation with what was lost.
  • Physical sensations: Dizziness, fast heartbeat, fatigue, headaches, hyperventilating, nausea or upset stomach, shortness of breath, tightness or heaviness in the throat or chest, or weight loss or gain.
  • Behaviors: Crying spells, excessive activity, irritability or aggression, loss of energy, loss of interest in enjoyable activities, restlessness, or trouble sleeping.

How to make it easier for yourself

Psychologists have also come up with a process of 5 stages that you go through when you are grieving which are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.

You must always remember it is normal to feel these symptoms or multiple symptoms at once, and you may also go through the stages more than once or experience them in a different order. Everyone is different and has their own way of coping with their feelings- no feeling is abnormal.

We have put together some ways that help people with the grieving process from people’s own experiences. Some of them may be helpful to try if you are going through something similar.

Feel whatever you’re feeling and don’t feel bad about it. Don’t try and push your feelings aside, expect that you will be finding life difficult for a while and know that whatever you’re feeling is normal.

Express your feelings Talk to your friends and family about how you’re feeling- a problem shared is a problem halved. If you don’t feel comfortable speaking about your feelings, dont worry! Get creative and express your emotion through art, music or a journal.

Don’t forget about your daily routine and your physical needs! Make sure you get enough sleep, exercise and eat healthily. Having a daily routine helps your mind too, even if you can’t manage much, plan your own version of self care events.

Ask for help if you need it. There is no shame at all in asking for help. Seek out professional help if your symptoms don’t improve.

Avoid making major decisions. Making impulsive decisions when you are going through a tough time like changing jobs or moving house can add more stress at an already distressing time.

Avoid drinking alcohol. Alcohol may seem like a good idea at first to get whatever’s in your mind out of your mind. However alcohol is a depressant so can make you feel even worse. You can also get easily addicted, especially if you are already going through a distressing time.

There is no set time it takes to feel better. Some people may not have to grieve at all (which is completely okay too)! On the other hand it may take months or even years for other people. If you don’t start gradually feeling better, it might be a sign that you have gone into depression- this is when you should seek professional help.

Is there anything we haven’t covered which you feel should be discussed? Get in contact with us by email: tcollingwood@craneandfaris.co.uk or send us a message on instagram, facebook, linkedin or twitter.

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